When you need a mask to be brave

Why striving to be "authentic" at all times is misguided

Why did I choose a girl in a fox mask as the symbol for Be Your Own Hero?

The piece is by my favorite local artist. Early in the pandemic I pasted this postcard on the cover of an orange notebook, and I got accustomed to seeing the girl in the mask looking out at me day after day. Something about her spoke to me.

Months later when I was pulling images for a mood board for Be Your Own Hero, she seemed the perfect focal point. I liked the image so much I contacted the artist, David Cuzick, about licensing it.

We got on the phone and I told him what Be Your Own Hero was about. When he asked me why this image? I told him this story:

One Saturday in July 2020 a pop-up MAGA merchandise shop flying two huge Trump 2020 flags cropped up on the sidewalk of a major intersection near my home.

I’d seen similar pop-ups in the area while driving around. They appeared to be legal, but I didn’t like them. And this one right in my neighborhood felt like an affront.

I could begrudgingly accept the the shop’s right to sell merch I disagreed with, but being in this prominent spot—and those flags—made it seem like an implicit neighborhood endorsement.

By that afternoon I’d decided I needed to do something to show this does not represent me.

So I put on a Biden t-shirt, grabbed a mini American flag, and walked over to the intersection. My plan was to stand at the corner, about 30 feet from the booth, and wave at cars as they went by. I wouldn’t confront anyone at the booth, just provide an alternate focus.

Even though being conspicuous was the whole point, by the time I got to the intersection my heart was pounding and I felt exposed and jumpy in my skin.

I’d canvassed¹ for candidates plenty of times, but this felt different. I couldn’t hide behind a clipboard and a set of prepared questions. I’d marched in protests and waved signs, but those were all planned with groups of people. This was just me.

Since it was pre-vaccine, I wore a face mask. It was a Biden mask, so I figured it would help make my point. But once I got over there and started waving, I also realized that wearing the mask made me feel just a little bit braver. It gave me some cover, a layer, albeit just a bit of cloth, between me and the unknown.

As I told David Cuzick in that phone call, sometimes you need a mask to feel brave.

This isn’t a huge revelation. Masks have emboldened characters both real and imaginary since time immemorial, from shamans to superheroes, bank robbers to trick-or-treaters.

But I have been wondering recently about the dichotomy of a mask helping you be brave vs. the idea that wearing a mask is a falsehood, the opposite of being authentic. An internet search of “the masks we wear” reveals a screenful of Pinterest-worthy quotes about the perils of metaphorical masks.

"Wearing a mask wears you out” says megachurch pastor Rick Warren. “Faking it is fatiguing. The most exhausting activity is pretending to be what you know you aren't."

If wearing a mask is “faking it,” should we do it at all? Should we strive for being 100 percent authentic at all times? That feels like a core American value — straight talk, shooting from the hip and all. But what about the benefits, like the boost in courage²? Do we have to give that up?

A clue to sussing out the nuances of this question came while reading Sonya Huber’s book Voice First: A Writer’s Manifesto³. Huber wrote the book to counter the problematic advice often given to writers to “find your voice,” implying we have one authentic voice we need to find and get right.

Huber explodes that concept, positing that we have a range of voices to draw on for different purposes and to different effects. The light bulb moment came for me when she said the word persona has roots in Roman drama, where it referred to an actual mask used to amplify one’s voice.

We have responsibilities that require us to bring certain elements of our personalities to the fore, and we are forced to develop separate masks and selves and voices to manage these different roles. … The word mask implies that there is a real being behind it and that the mask itself is a kind of disguise. … [but] Persona is a huge box …

This was a revelation. A persona, or mask, is just a tool—one that doesn’t come with a value judgment. Carl Jung defined persona as the outward manifestation of certain parts of our personality⁴.

Wearing a mask, or adopting a persona, doesn’t mean being false. It’s standard operating procedure for humans. You wouldn’t use the same persona to lead a group of employees in a team-building exercise as you would talking to your anxious teenage son. You wouldn’t use the same persona when discussing a worrisome test result with your doctor as you would convincing your boss why you deserve a promotion. Each of those personas is still authentically you.

Wearing a mask, real or metaphorical, to feel a tiny bit braver is simply amplifying that part of your human voice.

Which brings me back to the story about the intersection. In a bizarre, you-can’t-make-this-stuff up twist, I ended up being joined by a group of gay teenagers who had also decided to start a spontaneous counter-narrative, and by the end of an hour and a half we had bought a box of Black Lives Matter and Pride flags and buttons that the MAGA booth guy had on the side. Like I said, you can’t make this stuff up. The full story is on my Instagram here and here if you want the deets. It ended up being the most fun I had in a long time.

I took a chance on amplifying a part of my voice that day — the outgoing, positive-spin-political-protester part — and wearing a mask made it a little easier.

The girl in the fox mask resonates so much because I remember being this girl. Awkward, unsure of myself, trying to project the image of the person I want to be but not always knowing who that is. Wanting to both be seen and to hide. Oh who am I kidding—I’m still her.

The girl in the fox mask says I am curious but wary. Willing to put myself out there, yet ready to take cover if needed. Brave, but only in small doses.

What I’m reading

I don’t usually include writing books here, but since I’ve already been talking about Voice First I’d love to recommend it. I discussed the book along with several other writers on a recent episode of the Write, Publish, and Shine podcast by Rachel Thompson. Our conversation is a great way to get a feeling for the book and find out if it’s for you. Head to Episode 72 for the full conversation.

Where to find David Cuzick’s art

I’m a big fan of Cuzick’s art and have bought many shirts, prints, and cards over the years. If you’re in the San Diego area you can see his solo show “Mama Said…,” through June 30 at Inspirations Gallery, 2730 Historic Decatur Road #204 in Liberty Station. Great days to go would be the evenings of May 5 or June 2 during Liberty Station’s First Friday Arts District events when you’ll be able to meet the artist during encore receptions.

The show includes Girl Wearing Fox Mask and other works that explore the curiosity, danger, and wonder of childhood and coming of age. He also has a regular booth Saturdays at the Little Italy Farmer’s Market, and offers clothing, prints, cards and one-of-a-kind art at his website Circles and Squares Art.

---

So there you have it, my friends! Have you ever used a mask to feel brave? Have you ever felt pressure to be “authentic” and wondered what that even meant? I’d love to hear about it. Reply to this email or leave a comment below. All respectful discussion is welcome.

---

Your 🫶helps others discover Be Your Own Hero

Did you know Substack doesn’t use an algorithm for recommendations? Every time you hit the ♥️ it shows other folks that an actual person read and liked the piece. And an angel gets it wings and a writer gets a tiny shot of dopamine.

1. My essay “Resistance” was prompted by canvassing during the Kavanaugh Supreme Court hearings.

2. For a really lovely story about David Bowie, an autistic boy, and an invisible mask, see https://goodmenproject.com/arts/heres-a-mask-invisible-magic-put-it-on-and-youll-feel-brave-cmtt/

3. All books are linked through my Bookshop.org storefront, and earn an affiliate commission. In 2023, this commission will be donated to the Strong Hearted Native Women’s Coalition in San Diego County.

4. This definition came to me from Thomas Larson’s The Memoir and the Memoirist.