My Country 'Tis of Three: How I learned to stop worrying and love the Enneagram

It’s a little embarassing to admit a Broadway musical is foundational to my understanding of U.S. history. But so be it.

My parents took us to see the movie 1776 when I was in second grade and we lived an hour northwest of Philadelphia. I was changed forever¹.

I pinned the sides of a black felt cowboy hat up with three safety pins to make a tricorner hat. I sang the songs from memory until I got the soundtrack album as a birthday gift that summer. And John Adams became one of my personal heroes.

My vintage 1776 Soundtrack album

I never missed an opportunity to watch the movie if one came up (this in the days before VCRs). Now I own it on DVD. Between movie viewings and attending live theater productions (including one all-girl production by the local JCC company that blew me away), I have seen it at least two dozen times.

So it’s not surprising bits of dialogue stuck in my cortex² sometimes come to the fore, which is what happened this week.

In this case it was Benjamin Franklin arguing with one of the other Congressional representatives from Pennsylvania.

“We’ve spawned a new race here, Mr. Dickinson. Rougher, simpler, more violent, more enterprising, less refined. We’re a new nationality. We require a new nation.” — “Benjamin Franklin,” 1776

In one of those synapse-leaping moments of synergy with something seemingly unrelated, the line came to me as I remembered an offhand remark I heard in an Enneagram retreat I’d just attended.

The U.S. is a Three on the Enneagram.

If you know anything about the Enneagram this should make so much sense. If you don’t know about the Enneagram, here’s a succinct explanation³.

My homemade Enneagram diagram, hence why it’s a little off-kilter. The word literally means nine-sided diagram. Not to be confused with the Pentagram! Not the same at all. The lines do mean stuff, but too much to get into here. You could spend a lifetime exploring it.

The Enneagram is an ancient psycho-spiritual tool of personality typing into nine basic types, but it’s so much more. It’s a lens through which one can understand motivations, strengths, blind spots, fears, and interactions and use what you learn as a tool for growth. I’ve only just scratched the surface through a few books and one retreat, but everything I’ve learned resonates so much.

Enneagram types are most often applied to individuals. I am a One, aka The Perfectionist. This should surprise no one.

But cultures/societies/countries also have personalities, and thus can have an Enneagram type. The dominant US culture is a Three, also known as The Performer.

Here’s a sampling of what authors Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile write about What It’s Like to Be a Three in their book The Road Back to You⁴.

• It’s important for me to come across as a winner.

• The keys to my happiness are efficiency, productivity and being acknowledged as the best.

• I don’t like it when people slow me down.

• I know how to airbrush failure so it looks like success.

• I am competitive to a fault.

• I keep a close watch on how people are responding to me in the moment.

• It’s hard for me to name or access my feelings.

• Sometimes I feel like a phony.

• I love setting and accomplishing measurable goals.

• I like other people to know about my accomplishments.

• I don’t mind cutting corners if it gets the job done more efficiently.

— Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile, “The Road Back to You”

Susan Piver, author of The Buddhist Enneagram, says Threes often cannot fully access the contents of their own heart.

“When you can’t, (or won’t) feel your own heart, you come to believe that the way things look is the way they are. If I look happy, that means I am happy. If I appear successful, I am successful. If I say compassionate words, I am compassionate.” — Susan Piver

It’s not all bad news for Threes. Threes have the reputation for taking on impossible tasks with high self-confidence. Threes get things done. Threes believe anything is possible and are therefore highly forward-thinking.

But since appearance is everything, Threes’ deadly sin is deceipt. As Piver writes, “When you confuse appearances for reality, you simply do not know what is true. The biggest lies that Threes tell are to themselves.”

I am thinking of a story I read about the Golden Spike, the ceremonial railroad spike driven by Leland Stanford at the spot where the East and West branches of the Transcontinental Railroad came together in 1869. A famous photo commemorates the occasion, but although 80 percent of railroad workers were Chinese, only two unnamed Chinese workers are barely visible in the photo.

This was too great a moment to share with “outsiders,” so the narrative turned instead into “what a great American accomplishment.” The tremendous contributions of Chinese immigrants, without whom the railroad would have been impossible, was largely forgotten for over a century.

The U.S. can count many great accomplishments: inventions, vaccines, and yes, even the founding of our country as a democratic breakaway colony, which hadn’t been done before. There’s a reason Three is also sometimes called The Achiever. But we’re so focused on our image that the complex stories of those accomplishments, which are also mixed with failures, get airbrushed so the myth becomes more important than the nuanced reality.

“When you confuse appearances for reality, you simply do not know what is true. The biggest lies that Threes tell are to themselves.” — Susan Piver, The Buddhist Enneagram

Unhealthy Threes find failure unacceptable, and thus may turn the deadly sin of self-deceipt into intentional deceipt, “telling fabricated stories about themselves and their accomplishments in order to maintain their image. At their worst, unhealthy Threes can be petty, mean, and vengeful.”⁵

Here’s where I gotta point out the obvious. Even though it is not a Best Practice of Enneagram Study to type other people, sometimes the truth is staring you in the face.

We just elected a Three President. The Three-est of the Threes. A Three in charge of a Three country. Yikes.

So why does recognizing this give me a little bit of hope?

Because the Enneagram is not only a type, but a tool for change. I can’t change the President from what I see are his unhealthiest tendencies. But knowing I’m part of Three culture, I can do my small part to move us in the direction of healthy Three-ness.

Healthy Threes “balance their abundant energy between work, rest, and some kind of contemplative practice … [and therefore] feel valuable, which unleashes a tender benevolence that is focused on the common good.”⁶

Resisting always-on culture, turning away from toxic social media, being willing to admit and learn from failure, becoming more in touch with our hearts, being less reactive and defensive — these are activities that move Threes into security, where they/we “care more about what’s best for the group and want to connect to something bigger.”⁷

I’d be lying if I said I actually stopped worrying about what I see happening in my country right now⁸. (I am a One, after all. Worrying is my love language.) But recognizing that just like “Ben Franklin” implied, the U.S. has been a Three since it was born, makes me realize this isn’t new. It’s just a more intense phase of what we’ve been all along. We can move into a healthier way of being. And I can have some agency in that.

What I’m Reading

If you’re interested in the Enneagram at all, I’d highly recommend both books mentioned above. The Road Back to You has a Christian perspective but isn’t overtly Christian, and The Buddhist Enneagram is, obviously, Buddhist. I found both insightful, but as I say, I’m just scratching the surface of Enneagram knowledge so far.

If you have any recommendations for other Enneagram books or resources, please let me know!

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So there you have it, my friends. I hope this issue of Be Your Own Hero gave you something to think about. What do you think of the notion that the U.S. is an Enneagram type Three? (BTW this is not just my idea — both books above mention it.) Have you used the Enneagram in your own life? How is it helpful and/or what limitations have you found? I’d love to hear about it in the comments. All respectful discussion is welcome.

1. 1776 is a musical about the signing of the declaration of independence. Without it, Hamilton wouldn’t be a thing. It has nothing to do with the 1776 Project, established in 2020 with the specific purpose of “communicating the genius of the founding to future generations and combat Critical Race Theory and the 1619 Project in schools.”

2. I have no idea if the cortex is where this stuff is stored. Any brain scientists want to enlighten me?

3. Thanks to Molly Knutson-Keller Coaching “What is the Enneagram?” page

4. All proceeds from Bookshop affiliate links are donated to the Strong-Hearted Native Women’s Coalition in San Diego.

5. The Road Back to You, Cron and Stabile, p. 131

6. ibid, p. 130

7. ibid. p. 145

8. Here I have to point out for any Millennials or younger the hat tip to Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. IYKYK